Home

I found this quote today:

and it got me thinking …

Home isn´t a place, it´s a feeling. And even though I love my family and the house we´re living in and my friends and my work and basically everything – I haven´t come home yet. Maybe I felt home when I was little, when my only worries where to get a new dress for my Barbie dolls or to get that new Benjamin Blümchen cassette. But I can´t really remember it.

So I´m sitting here on my bed, which I also really love btw and where I cuddle myself in my sheets when I´m scared or really really sad, and I wonder if I ever find my home, where I truly belong to.

I like to believe in true love and that my soulmate is somewhere out there and that he is my home. Sometimes I dream about my future and see myself living in England, being married and having two daughters. In those moments I feel as if I´m almost there. I feel happy and can´t wait for my future to turn to the present. But what if I´m wrong? What if I don´t have a home and will never find it? What if I´ll feel my whole life like I´m just travelling, staying in hotels, feeling comfortable and enjoying it, but not being home.

What if … I know. “Two words as non-threatening as words can be, but put them together, side by side, and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life” (this has always been my favourite quote from `Letters to Juliet´).

But let´s be serious: If I´ll never find my home, I might just as well die. I need my home to stay sane (or rather to get sane, cause sane is pretty much the opposite of what I am).

Anyway, did you already find your home? Let me know in the comments.

Stay safe.

Vanessa xx